The road melted under his tires like years through his hair line. His car sounded like it wanted to mate with a cougar and probably could. Every time she came back to his thoughts or he felt himself start to sober up he hit the gas even more. The wind pushed back the failing armies of his scalp but his glasses kept him cool. The desert passed through him tugging at his soul as he tried to run from everything. Nicholas Bartlett was 50 and fat and he hated it almost as much as he hated everything else. The sun danced through the sky and scorched away his thoughts. Beside him was a still half signed divorce paper. He was hoping the wind would suck it up and out of his life but the bastard thing just kept clinging to the seat. He grunted in annoyance and dropped the gas to the floor. The ‘65 Cadillac roared displaying its true desires for some sweet sweet cougar lovin’. Ahead of him held as much hope as behind him and he was having a hard time deciding where to go. Nick decided on not deciding. He checked the fuel gauge which promised three quarters of a tank worth of stalling. Much more then he needed to get to vegas. From there sell the car and die between the tits of some cocktail waitress. This plan was lusciously attractive to him as he pondered what her name would be. When a man plans his death there is a certain peace the universe affords him. Or perhaps it’s the release of any concerns. or simply a surge of dopamine into the brain telling you it’s all going to be ok. But regardless of what ever universal or societal or mental ramifications come to you, nothing absolutely nothing, disrupts your reverie like slamming into a naked man who wandered into the road.
The car swerved and eventually pulls to a stop in a hail of dust and profanity. The cougar call being blue balled doing nothing for the situation. Nicholas stepped out of the car visibly shaken as he looks at the now blood soaked patch of ground behind him. There with decided dents in his body lay a naked man around his mid 30s. But despite what every medical text book and crime drama would tell you. He was remarkably unhurt. To say he was unhurt would be a literal thing in this case as his body was literally knitting itself back together. Nicholas’ eyes were trying as hard as they could to get wider and wider as he watched this reverse dissection in front of him. The man uttered a guttural choking noise as his throat put itself back together.
“ah what the fuuuuuuuck OOOWWW” he finally managed to say. Nicholas’ body was furiously debating on whether to throw up pee or run. Eventually it settled on a combination of all three. The naked former victim of vehicular negligence watched this spectacle with bewilderment and slight disgust. His confusion would come from the sense of undeath that was currently chaining him to the world. Being stripped from the afterlife is a bit like being born. Sans the spankings of course. This fact would soon break the heart of the naked pseudo-victim. The fact that his heart was quite literally broken would make sure that he didn’t care about that.